


vibe with me martin

by americangothic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Intrigue, Mystery, Sandwiches, laser vision, piss mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21571687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americangothic/pseuds/americangothic
Summary: Something about the statements Jon has been getting lately is fishy.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 20
Kudos: 28





	1. type i binary compound

**Author's Note:**

> cowritten with me by the lovely @cc-cc-cc-cc-cc-cc-cc-cc and beta'd by @podcasts-and-other-aches both on tumblr. this is a work of love and flat sandwich

State ment of sam regarding flat sandwich recorded by the archivist Jonthan smims on 6/9

One day I was eating lunch in high shole. It was a normal high scuul and I was in 10th graid (year 21 for our english list`eners).AAAAAAAAAAAAAA\AAAAAAAAAAQQQQAAAQQQQAPQ0PQ0PQ00PQ0PQPQ0A0PA0PW It was good. I WWWWWWWpulled my lunch out of my bag and opened it to grab my sandwich. I had no emotional attachment to that sandwich. But it was squarshed. Nearly flat. My heart broke. Flat sandwich flat sandwich. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. my friend handed me a carton with pickle juice in it. After a moment’s hesitation, I dipped my flat sandwich in it and sopped up the juice. It dissolved the bread. Then I eated it.

Statement ends

I don't think this happened


	2. type ii binary compounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter's assistant reads a statement.

Statement of Sam regarding flat sandwich 2. Statement recorded by Jartin Blackwoow, assistant to assistant to assistant to Peter Grukas.

Statnant begans.

I open my bag to take out me sandwich. It was June 21st, despite the fact that itwas Horsecoming weekend!!!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Andyway, I opened my bag and took out my sandwich but first I walked into the boys bathroom. It felt like I had stepped into an alternative reality where the seat wasn't constantly covered with piss droplets. Haha like eggmaqn. I leeft the batHroom and WEnt To go sit DOwN anD EaT My fLat sanDwIcH> OH yEAH It WAs fLat bAbyYyyYyyYyyYY. Anyway it was flat snadiWhC,. I eatED It. very fLat. tHatS WHeN I ReaLiZED ThaT NORMAL peoPLE svCARE Me but iMTHE JONKER from FLAT Sandwich. yuMMY! I am In purGAtoRory right now. B

I submItted a sTAtEMtn to the jagnus mArcHiEs BUT I THINK I am GOIng to DIE frOM FlAt sNaDwihC>

Statment ends. 

not to vibe with jon or anything but i don’t think this happened


	3. type iii binary compounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The flat sandwich statements are catalysts for something else.

Jon sighed and leaned back in his chair far enough for it to emit a startling snap. He tumbled backward, having traveled a full 180 degrees, but his mind was so consumed by other things he barely noticed.

"State mints," Jon declared as he scrambled to his feet. "I need my baby snacks. My little Beholding treats."

He began to scamper through the halls of the Institute, nose to the ground like a rat, emitting a noise like a verbalized keysmash. Jon's highly specialized sense of smell lent itself to his Beholding powers, as well as his slowly developing Animorph powers. As he passed through the hallways, he nodded at the crab scuttling around. It did not nod back. Jon began to sob.

Soon enough Jon arrived outside a familiar door. It was Elias' office, he realized with a sinking feeling. But he needed whichever statement was in there. Jon swung the door open, prepared to catch a glimpse of Martin disappearing as he had in the past, but was surprised by the sight of him and a bastardly man Jon assumed was Peter Lukas. And the statement in Martin's hand, of course.

"Bro this isn't fucking real," Martin exclaimed. Peter made an approximate shrugging motion. 

"you have such little faith in flat sandwich Martin".

Jon scrumbled forward and pried the new flat sandwich statement from Martin's grasp. Martin gasped as their hands touched.

"Jon" he said.

"Mahtin..." 

As Martin and Jon stood there staring at each other, hands trembling over the other's, Peter garfled loudly. "Well, I'm off," he declared cheerfully. "Too homophobic to keep watching this public display of affection, or UIF (pUblic dIsplay of aFfection)."

Jon shoved the flat sandwich statement into his mouth and chewed it in a miraculously low amount of time, providing enough fuel for his Beholding-powered laser eyes. He then turned his laser fury onto Peter Lukas and obliterated the jester-like simpleton with naught but a blink.

And then Martin clapped.

And then they kissed.

Martin could still taste remnants of the statement in Jon's mouth because he did not chew it all the way, but that's okay. True love means sometimes it's okay to not chew your food all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was not cowritten except for the last bit but evie and cc are great and you should go follow them. i'm sam (@autisticjon on tumblr) and i did in fact do everything that happened in this statement. flat sandwich flat sandwich


End file.
